Does any of this sound familiar?

• “They said they’d have the contract to me by end of week and I still don’t have it!”
• “Why isn’t my team responding quickly when I need them?
• “My clients should respect my family dinner time.”

If so, you may be missing a clean agreement.

Expectations vs. Clean Agreements

In the world of Conscious Leadership, one core principle stands out for creating clarity and trust: clean agreements. Clean agreements are clear, mutual commitments made where it’s clear who is doing what, by when. Often people think what they have is a clean agreement but what they really have is an expectation. Let’s take a look at both.

Expectations

An expectation is a belief or assumption about what will happen in the future. It often involves personal interpretations of a situation or relationship based on past experiences, desires, or social norms. Expectations can be implicit or explicit but are generally less formalized. For example, you might expect that your colleague will respond to your email within a day or that your client will understand you don’t take calls after 6pm at night.

Key Characteristics of Expectations

• Vague: They can lack specificity and clarity.
• Assumptive: Often based on personal beliefs rather than mutual understanding.
• Variable Interpretation: Different parties may interpret or prioritize expectations differently.

Clean Agreements

A clean agreement, on the other hand, is a mutually understood and clearly defined commitment between parties. It outlines specific responsibilities, timelines, and outcomes. For instance, a clean agreement between an agent and a client might detail the frequency of communication and specific services provided.

Key Characteristics of Clean Agreements

• Specific: Clearly outlines what is agreed upon, including details and timelines.
• Mutual Understanding: Both parties actively participate in defining the agreement.
• Accountable: Establishes clear expectations for follow-through and accountability.

Expectation vs. Clean Agreement in Action

Sounds simple, right? Maybe not.

For many people, they think they have a clean agreement but what they really have is an expectation. And, very likely, many of those expectations aren’t being met – causing you real pain. A powerful clue that you may not have a clean agreement is when you hear yourself saying or thinking, “they SHOULD” be doing something.  Like, “They should know this is always due on Fridays.” Or, “They should be asking how they can help me versus leaving early.”

Here’s an example of an expectation vs. a clean agreement in action:

>> Situation: I’ve hired a new assistant for my real estate team who comes from the corporate world. She takes lunch every day for exactly 1 hour and leaves every day at 5pm on the dot – regardless of what’s going on in my business.

>> Expectation: My expectation is that supporting team members are staying each night until the work is done. Our business is fluid and I need my team to show up in the same way.

>> The Pain: My new assistant isn’t meeting my expectations around how our team works. It’s causing frustration for my other team members and me.

>> The Solution – A Clean Agreement: I speak directly with my new assistant and clarify how the team works together. I ask her (who) to make sure she is checking with me (does what) every day at 4pm (by when) to align on what outstanding work exists before she leaves for the day.

Start Small

If you want to start small, begin by thinking about all the expectations you may have at home with your partner or roommate. A great one at our house is putting away the dishes from the drying rack in the morning. Sometimes I do it. Sometimes my partner does it. If I start doing it too much, I start feeling frustrated about having to do it “all the time.”

But, the reality is, we don’t have a clean agreement. To immediately extinguish this frustration, it could be as simple as discussing a schedule: We mutually agree it needs to be done before work on the weekdays and I’ll take Monday, Wednesday & Friday and he’ll take Tuesday and Thursdays. Done.

These friction points can be energy leaks that add up over time – taking you out of your power.

Want a boost today? Start with your list of expectations to determine those that are most painful and prioritize those that  may need some clean agreements instead. They reduce miscommunication, improve accountability, and strengthen relationships with teammates, clients and partners.